The Hetalia Files
by PioneeringAuthor
Summary: A collection of drabbles, one-shots and short stories about Hetalia. Prepare for randomness, history, emotions, and morals. [I am willing to take requests in reviews. No gore, no yaoi, no profanity. Rated T to be safe. Updates will be irregular. WARNING: FLYING PURPLE PEOPLE EATER PRESENT; enjoy!]
1. Lessons from History

Dear Reader,

I first posted this on a forum, where they had a game called "Truth or Drabble."

The drabble character was supposed to be England, and the prompt was "Past Queens."

I decided to make a monologue of England speaking of his past queens.

I apologize if this is actually too long to be a drabble.

Also, please leave me a nice review so I know what you are thinking, and if I need to adjust any mistakes!

The pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to tell ~+~

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 **Lessons from History: A drabble concerning England**

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What, who are you? What do you want? Oh, a history lesson? Well... go to a professor; I am very busy, can't you see? Well... if you are going to stay, I suppose I will tell you a bit about my... my queens. No, not modern ones, let's go back a bit... fine, I will mention one modern queen for you, happy? Although it has been a while, I still remember when Victoria was crowned as my queen. She was quite young, I must admit, but she was brave, and worthy of her title. After some time, she married and had several children, who became heirs to thrones all over Europe, which caused quite a few problems during the World Wars...

Let's go back a bit farther... Queen Elizabeth the First. I remember, that was quite a chaotic time for me, I must say. First, I was Catholic, then King Henry simply had to do his own thing so he would be allowed to get a new wife, and next thing I know, I am protestant! Oh, then when he died, Queen Mary came along, and then I was Catholic again. Oh, no, it didn't end there, did it? No, Elizabeth came along and I was Protestant again... I still haven't gotten over that... Although it was quite shocking for me, I must say... I am glad Elizabeth came my way. The poor thing was looked down on by many because she was considered iligitimate, however, she went past that, and I became strong with her, and even defeated Spain's armada! Of course, that is another story. I must say, I liked Good Queen Bess.

However, the queen I remember most, even though she is probably talked about least, was one of my first queens, Boedicea. How do I spell that? Well, it's a very old name, I am sure there is more than one spelling-you wanted history, not spelling, so don't ask me such questions! As I was saying... When I was under Rome's foot, enslaved that is, she came along and restored hope to my people when there seemed to be none. Even though she was in chains, her spirit was free, and for the first time in decades I truly believed that I could be strong, and independent, with her at my side... She helped to start a war against the Romans, and it seemed that we would win... Alas... it was not meant to be, I suppose... She ended up drinking poison with her daughters, for it was better to die than be enslaved again, in our eyes.

What's the point of all this? Well... history teaches us many things, and one thing that I have learned is that, although there are many trials in life, there are also many victories, and we must not dwell on the failures, but use them as stepping stones to success. There, now go away! I am very busy!


	2. America's Girl

Dear Reader,

This was another Truth or Drabble, this one being a AmBela, with the prompt "kittens," drabble.

I assumed it was America X Belgium, and I typed this on an ipad.

Yes, I now know that AmeBela is America X Belarus, but I didn't know that at the time.

In fact, this is the first drabble I ever wrote here.

 **Please read and review!**

The pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to tell ~+~

Special thanks to The Scheming Turtle for Beta-reading this.

 **More thanks to all the nice reviews and suggestions! I am seriously considering them, including the one about suicidal Canada living-if I can pull it off convincingly, I would love to know what you think about that one, my guest. :)**

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 **America's girl: An America X Belgium drabble**

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Belgium stroked the kittens one at a time, smiling at how adorably fluffy they were.  
Beside her, America was holding the tiniest one, gently massaging its head fondly.

"oh...they're so cute! Too bad I can only pick one..." Belgium crooned as she cuddled a ginger kitten.

"I know, right?" America agreed.

Although he tried to be quiet around the baby animals, his attempts to whisper turned into a strange, hoarse noise. Thankfully, the kittens didn't mind, and neither did Belgium. Belgium smiled at America, admiring how his blue eyes sparkled with a happiness that only kittens could awaken. He beamed back at her, glad that she was his girl...especially since she made the world's best chocolate.


	3. A Reason to Live

To the guest who wanted a Suicidal!Canada story where he lives-thanks for the challenge, and I accept! *tips hat*  
Indeed, this is the sort of thing I love to write: a ray of hope.

I hope that this is in-character, and I want to know what you think of it.

Please, keep giving me challenges, Everyone, and thanks again for all the reviews and prompts!

PioneeringAuthor, the pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to tell ~+~

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A reason to live: A Suicidal!Canada drabble

For a thousand reasons, Canada wanted to die a thousand different ways. One day, he decided to try it. Even if he couldn't die, he still hungered to try. He even left a note to say good-bye. However, before he tried to shoot himself, his brother came to him, and dragged him away somewhere. America wouldn't say where he was taking him, he was simply going. Although Canada smiled and acted excited, inwardly he was depressed and wanted to get this over with soon. Eventually, they were at America's house. Canada pondered why. As they entered the front door, he knew why, for everyone screamed, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CANADA!"

Okay, there were not too many people there, but enough to make Canada surprised. What was even more surprising was they they noticed party ended at length, and Canada returned home in America's car, laden with gifts.

Before America left, he squeezed Canada tightly and whispered into his ear,"Don't die."

Canada stiffened.

"Mattie, don't die! I know you want to, but don't! I need you, Brother! I'll miss you, and so will all of them," America pleaded as a tear rolled down his cheek.

Canada pushed away from him and asked, "How... what?"

America showed him the suicide note Canada made earlier that day.

"How did you get this?" Canada stuttered.

"On our way out the door today, I found it on your desk... they didn't know about it, only I did... I didn't tell them... but I know that they'll miss you just as much as I will if you die." America declared, "Please, please live, for me!"

With that, America threw his arms around his brother again and began wailing, "I do notice you, I do! I'm sorry for all the times I mispronounced your name and ignored you or made fun of you! PLEASE, FORGIVE ME AND DO NOT DIE!"

As his younger brother sobbed into his shoulder, Canada felt a tear roll down his face.

He hugged his little brother and whispered back, "Okay... I forgive you... besides, I don't think nations can commit suicide anyway."

Canada found a reason to live in his little brother's words.


	4. The Viking Way of Life

Viking Age Drabble

Dear Reader,

APH United Nations requested a drabble on the Viking Age and mentioned that he/she liked Norway. Hence, I am writing a monologue with Norway speaking of the Vikings.

I hope you all enjoy this and I give thanks to The Scheming Turtle for being my beta-reader in this and other drabbles.

PioneeringAuthor, the pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to tell ~+~

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The Viking Way of Life: A drabble with Norway concerning the Viking Age

All right, I know that vikings have a reputation for being scary pillagers who may possibly be insane or... something like that, but I would like to say that we actually had lives, and civilization. Unlike many Europeans, we actually believed in bathing, and bathed regularly. No, it's true, we did. Yes, we did sail around and attack people it's true, but not all the time-we mainly did that to get supplies. However, we did learn how to farm and settled down in the end. By the way, we had our laws and punishments like other civilizations, and we even had our own religious beliefs. In fact, you would probably recognize some of our gods and goddesses if you have a Gregorian calendar-ever heard of Thursday? That's Thor's day. Yes, the guy with the hammer was our god of thunder. Oh, and Friday is Freya's day-she was one of our goddesses. Okay, now do you understand that we actually had civilization? Good, because we were real people with real lives. Yes, we were a bit scary at times, but we did that to survive... that was our way of life... the viking way of life.


	5. End of the Terror

Dear Reader,

This is for my friend Krasavitsa, who requested a drabble concerning the Baltics and the rise and fall of the USSR.

Thanks for all the prompts and comments! Please keep reading and reviewing!

Special thanks to The Scheming Turtle for being my Beta-reader.

The pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to tell {P~A}

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End of the Terror: a drabble about the Baltics and the USSR

It was pure fearmongering, that's what it was. If not that, then it was terrifying. For some reason, something in Russia's brain was... off... and this caused him to be cruel, even if he didn't realize it. Because of this, the Baltics were terrified of him. Unfortunately, they had no choice but to live with him, for he was their master. Living with Russia was a nightmare. Every day, they worried about doing one tiny thing wrong and getting beaten by him. No matter how hard they tried, they usually did something wrong, which led to terrible beatings and more living nightmares. They longed to run away, but they had no place to go, no safe haven to turn to for comfort. Night after night, day after day, they longed to be free, to not fear anything, to live their way in peace and security. Then came that fateful day when the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics fell. At last, they were free. Eagerly, Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia left Russia's house, and began their own lives, in freedom and peace. It was a day of rejoicing and ecstasy. Finally, the fear and terror was over.


	6. Insanity Strikes

I was raised on American oldies.

Due to a certain guest review on my story, Unconditional Love, and my love of random oldies from the 50's, here is a drabble that gives a hint of my funny sense of humor.

The pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to tell ~+~

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 **Insanity Strikes: A random drabble inspired by American Oldies**

During the nineteen-fifties, America had a rush of a new kind of music that was fast, and sometimes... utterly strange. Of course, Canada couldn't help but be subjected to the randomness. One night, he fell asleep, thinking of a certain strange American song that went, "It had one horn, one eye, flying purple people eater..."  
Although Canada tried, he could not ignore the song. Suddenly, he awoke with a start, hearing something strange outside his window. Curiously, he walked over to the window, and when he opened it, he was horrified to see a fearsome beast! It had one horn, one eye, and was purple all over, and... then the though hit Canada: OH NO! IT'S A FLYING PURPLE PEOPLE EATER! NOOOOO! If he hadn't been so terrified, he would have laughed at how ridiculous it looked. Of course, he was currently trying to escape, but his feet refused to move, which made him more afraid that before.

The ridiculous purple monster flew up to his face and grunted, "Hi, I am Bob, do you like pie?"

Still scared, Canada squeaked, "Uhm... yes... I-I-I do..."

The weird thing squeaked back, "Me too."

After that, Canada awoke and sat straight up in bed. From that day, Canada determined to never listen to insane music from his brother before bed.

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 **Dear Reader,**

 **I hope you liked this!**  
 **You may look up the song online if you wish; I am certain it is called "Flying Purple People Eater," and was made in the fifties.**

 **By the way, I put in my summaries, "No flying purple people eaters," to mean, "No creepy magical stuff or monsters," but I also do it to make myself laugh. Now you know why.**

 **The pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to tell ~+~**


	7. Spring Cleaning

Dear Reader: This is for Hinotori-Hime, who suggested a drabble about the Baltics and Spring Cleaning. Enjoy!

Special thanks to The Scheming Turtle for being my Beta-reader as usual.

The pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to tell ~+~

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 **Spring Cleaning: A drabble about the Baltics and Spring Cleaning.**

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It was Spring cleaning for the Baltics, not that anything about it was putting a spring in their steps, of course... Lithuania, as usual, was doing a large portion of the work, since he kept stopping what he was doing to help the other Baltic nations. Nevertheless, work was still getting done as they helped each other clean Estonia's house. Their plan was to clean Estonia's house, then Lithuania's and finally Latvia's. Unfortunately, Latvia wasn't assisting much because he constantly worried about minute details, accidentally shattered objects and generally hindered the other two. However, what greatly slowed them down was Russia, who randomly decided to visit them, which made Latvia even more nervous and clutsy. By some miraculous happening, they managed to finish cleaning Estonia's house that day, and it seemed like all the birds sang in glee at the event. Lithuania, meanwhile, was stressed by the occurrence, and seriously considered reforming his own commonwealth again. Regardless, they did acheive their goal, and managed to clean all three houses by the end of the week.


	8. Woven Requiems

Dear Reader:

This is for Take it Kenta, who requested an Austria drabble.

I hope you enjoy this, whoever you are!

The pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to tell ~+~

P.S. Thanks, Turtle, for being my beta-reader!

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 **Woven Requiems: A Drabble about Austria and his music**

 **By PioneeringAuthor**

Austria played his piano, and the music flowed from it like a beautiful story being woven by sound that had no words but a thousand fathoms of meaning. Suddenly, he played a sour note. He cringed. Quickly, he played the key again. It was still off-tune. Frustrated that his own piano would need tuning, Austria stood up and walked around the piano, inspecting the strings. After some searching, he descried his tuning utensils, and began fixing the sour key. At length, it was fixed, and Austria played every note to ensure it was fully tuned. Indeed, it was completely tuned. With a smile spreading across his face, he began playing his beautiful music again, weaving his wordless stories with every requiem.

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I hope you all enjoy this! I was listening to a song while doing this, and I think it made me write this with a hint of poetry as I did so. If you have any questions you can PM me!

By the way, please leave a review so I know that you actually read this, and so that I know what you think! That includes the person who asked for it!

The pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to weave ~+~


	9. A Leap of Faith

Dear Reader:

This is for Alli's Guard and Drumline004, who requested something crazy with the Axis powers. Alli, you didn't really say what you meant by, 'crazy,' so... what do you think of this?

Thanks to The Scheming Turtle for the beta-reading.

The pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to tell ~+~

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 **A Leap of Faith: A drabble concerning the Axis powers.**

Germany knew this was a bad idea. Japan knew this was a bad idea. Italy subconsciously knew this was a bad idea, but he was too excited to say anything against it now.

"Ready?" The leader said.

"Yes," Germany said as he tightened his straps one last time.

Japan nodded.

Italy nodded.

"All right then, jump when ready!" The leader said.

The three friends eyed each other with a hint of fear in their eyes.

"Fine! I, the awesomest one, will go first!" Prussia declared. With that, he jumped out of the plane. Soon after, Austria followed, asking himself why he let himself be dragged into this insanity. By this time, nobody remembered whose idea it was to go skydiving, but they couldn't turn back now. Soon Japan had jumped, and only Italy and Germany were left. Of course, Romano stayed home... which was probably a better idea...

As he stood on the edge of the door of the plane, Italy surveyed the sky, seeing the green land far, far...FAR below him, and he instantly became scared. Germany groaned. He saw this coming.

"G-G-germany... I changed my mind," Italy whispered.

"Italy, you can't change your mind, just jump," Germany hissed.

"B-b-but... it's so...high..." Italy stammered.

"Do you want me to push you?" Germany offered in exasperation.

"Uhm..."

Without waiting for an answer, Germany shoved Italy out of the plane, listening to him scream as he fell through the sky. While still grumbling about how he should have just stayed home with his dogs, Germany leaped out of the plane. Even though it seemed like a bad idea, it actually turned into an enjoyable experience... it merely needed a leap of faith.


	10. The Ninth of Av

**I am not sure if it is the Ninth of Av or not, but I have been wanting to write this for a while.**

 **WARNING: SAD.**

 **PioneeringAuthor, the pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to tell ~+~**

 **P.S. Special thanks to my Beta-reader, Turtle.**

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 **The Ninth of Av: A drabble concerning Jewish history**

America was walking with his friends, Northern and Southern Israel, when he realized that they had been together past lunch, and had not eaten anything.

"Hey, let's go eat something!" America declared.

"Not today, America, we are fasting," Northern Israel, who was commonly known as Israel, told him as she brushed her long black bangs out of her face with one of her lightly tanned hands.

"Oh... why?" America probed in curiousity. He knew that they fasted on Yom kippur... but it wasn't Yom Kippur... was it?

"Tisha B'Av," Southern Israel, who was known as Judah, informed him bluntly. As he Judah stood there, The sunlight illuminated his tanned face and highlited both siblings' facial scars in a most unappealing way.

"What's... that?" America asked, hoping that he didn't sound too dumb.

The siblings looked at each other silently for a moment. At length, Judah locked eyes with America and stated, "It is the Ninth of Av."

"And... what is that?" America asked again, feeling even more clueless.

At that, Judah solemnly recounted, "On the Ninth of Av, the First Crusade began, which killed thousands of my people. On the Ninth of Av, my people were expelled from England in 1290. On the Ninth of Av, they were expelled from France in 1306; on the Ninth of Av they were expelled from Spain in 1492. On the Ninth of Av the Holocaust began." At this point, Judah firmly grabbed America's shoulders despite America being taller than he, and with a serious look in his blue eyes, he ordered, "Never forget the Ninth of Av."

All America could do at this point was nod quietly. He never did forget what his friends told him about the Ninth of Av.


	11. Soulmate Soup

Dear Reader:

This was originally a joke between Eisceire and myself when somebody asked for a soulmate drabble. I believe Nolesr1 asked for a soulmate drabble, but it's hard to recall.

Yes, The Scheming Turtle was my beta again and I deeply appreciate it.

~+~ The pioneer with a heart for people and a thousand stories to tell ~+~

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Soulmate Soup:

A Drabble concerning Hungary and Prussia and soup

Everyone had his or her own recipe for soup. Problem was that only that person liked it. Well, that person and whoever was his or her soulmate. Hungary had made the same soup for years, which was a combination of various vegetables and beef, and sadly had not discovered anyone else who liked it. One day she was making her soup, when Prussia barged into her home. Apparently, he had a bone to pick with her about something she said in the world meeting. The two argued and argued, then Prussia stormed into the kitchen to get a glass of water to prevent him from losing his awesome voice. Then he noticed the pot, took a nearby spoon and tasted it.

"You know, Hungary, I may not like you very much but I certainly like this soup," Prussia shouted to her, "Which book did you find it in?"

Hungary stormed into the kitchen, but when she saw Prussia eating and actually ENJOYING her personal soup, she stood there stunned into silence.

"Well?" Prussia continued as he saw her shocked look, "What book did you... why are you looking at me like that?"

"Prussia... that's... my... soulmate soup," Hungary stammered.

At first, Prussia stared at her in wonder, but then his pale face softened into a smile and with a chuckle he said, "ha! Nice joke, Hungary-I had no idea you had a sense of humor."

"I was not joking... not even Austria likes that soup..."

Realization set into Prussia's mind quickly.

Prussia dropped the spoon. On that day, Prussia and Hungary realized that they needed to stop fighting, because the soup thought it would be a better idea.


End file.
